What does dignity mean to you?  To me, it means being able to hold my head high.  It means being treated with respect, care and compassion.  It means that someone else values me at least as much as I value myself.

Many people with mental illness say they feel they have no dignity.  They feel that they are treated as less than others because of the disorder in their brain.  They feel that doctors and other caregivers talk more ABOUT them than TO them.  Sometimes these doctors and caregivers talk to the patient's family as if the patient were not right there.  The mentally ill are not the only ones who feel a loss of dignity.  The elderly feel it.  The homeless feel it.  Anyone who is marginalized by society feels it. 

What can be done about this loss of dignity?  I think it starts from within.  On the road to recovery, I gained hope first, then meaningful activity.  With these, I improved my self-esteem.  Once I began to increase my self-esteem, I started to notice an outward change.  I walked straighter.  I spoke more clearly and decisively.  I made decisions and was willing to stand by them.  I demanded - and received - respect, and with that respect, came dignity. 

I can't pin-point the day or the hour.  I wish I could.  But I went from blindly accepting what doctors told me, to researching the medications and treatments they were suggesting/prescribing, and then discussing those medications and treatments WITH them.  I was no longer passive in my care.  I was active and in charge.  I am certainly not saying that I didn't consider their input.  I go to a doctor because I am not an expert on drugs and treatments.  I need someone to give me some independent input.  I need someone with which to collaborate on my treatment plan.

But that dignity is not a one-way street.  While I was growing in my own dignity, I also found I was respecting others' dignity more as well.  I found ways to disagree without arguing.  I found ways to reject a suggestion without also rejecting the suggestion maker.  We cannot expect that someone respect our dignity, if we do not respect theirs.  A big portion of respecting someone else's dignity involves respecting limits and boundaries. 

Sometimes boundaries are a difficult area for someone with mental illness.  We feel people trespassing on our boundaries (by making decisions for us instead of with us), and we retaliate (consciously or unconsciously) by ignoring their boundaries as well.  We treat our doctors and caregivers either as if their were our closest friends or our mortal enemies, instead of as the medical professionals they are.  They are not there to be our friends.  They are they to give us their medical help and advice.  They are also not there to be targets for our aggression (misplaced or not.)

As we grow to accept ourselves and love ourselves on our path to recovery, we must also grow to accept and respect those around us.  It is this way that we will find the dignity that we seek.